I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. 113. 167. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. 209. – Chris Rock, 256. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead. 46. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. 186. Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text. – Bill Murray. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)...right to your inbox. – Albert King. I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. 156. – Chris Rock 256. 177. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. Send me the link. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it. Nothing, they just waved. Learn sign language, it’s very handy. 225. 195. 73. 52. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. 204. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. I tell you what always catches my eye. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. I never apologize. 172. 146. 252. Best friends eat your food. 139. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. There’s life without Facebook and internet? “On the other hand, you have different fingers.”― Steven Wright, “Never test the depth of the water with both feet.”― African Proverb, “Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.”― Peyton Johnston, “A day without sunshine is like, night.”― Steve Martin. Mahatma Gandhi. It has nothing new to tell you. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. 134. Home / Short Funny Quotes / Page 2. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? – Steven Wright. Because it was soda pressing. 100. Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. 272. 167. 177. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”― Franklin Jones, “Black Holes are where God divided by zero.”― Albert Einstein, “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” ― Steven Wright, “If you want to be criticized, marry. He who laughs last didn’t get it. 194. 26. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. I added some images in case you want to use them for your Pinterest board, or Instagram stories. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. – P.D. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. 234. "If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level." I just go normal from time to time. 119. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. You never run out of things that can go wrong. – Edward A. Murphy. 277. 97. Life is always rocky when you’re a gem. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got. 14. 129. 155. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. The road to success is always under construction. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. 8. 163. 153. How do astronomers organize a party? It gets toad away. I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making. 132. 18. I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it. 3. 84. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. My cremation is going to be epic!” 68. 211. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. I love my job only when I’m on vacation. 218. 12. 237. 274. If Monday had a face, I would punch it. See more ideas about funny shirts, funny shirt sayings, funny tshirts. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? – Czech proverb – Ken Dodd Today I was a hero. 113. 81. Keep going. 270. 66. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. 48. “The only mystery in life is not about how you survive the storm, it’s about how you dance in the rain. But you can always be immature. 82. I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Light travels faster than sound. 100. These cookies do not store any personal information. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. 5. 268. Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. – Bill Murray 114. 29. 137. 111. 250. – John F. Kennedy. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. It makes them so damned mad. We need to hear a pin drop. 183. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead. 236. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 216. 126. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Life is supposed to be an erratic wave function, which the wise people have interpreted as a phenomenon with a lot of “ups and downs”, and funny and witty sayings do help in the place where life dips a bit too low. 11. 68. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. Funny Quotes and Sayings: 1 Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? 2. 219. 258. 2. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 233. I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. 185. 226. 15. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. It doesn’t work if it is not open. Funny Short Sayings. 193. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 1. 96. 42. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. – Walter Bagehot. These short and funny friendship quotes aren’t just for laughs, though – they also offer some revealing insights about what it means to be, and have, a friend. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. 199. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. – P.D. 31. – Steven Wright 106. 116. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Art doesn’t transform. Shot by a jealous wife. – Gary Delaney, 248. Short Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings “The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.” —Ben Hogan “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” —Mark Twain “The most important shot in golf is the next one.” —Ben Hogan “Most people play a fair game of golf, If you watch them.” —Joey Adams “May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.” —Ben Hogan – Albert King Funny offence: I think your parents shouldn't have built the swing that close to the wall. When they go away, it’s a brighter day. 2. 214. Breasts don’t have eyes. No, but April may. Exercise? My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 92. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. 19. – Socrates. 126. I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. Screw it, let’s do it. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 14. 70. 152. 196. 203. 245. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. 37. – Robert A. Heinlein No pain. A short road it is indeed! 39. 228. Seldom is a word so loaded with preconceived meanings as the word Hollywood. 181. 121. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. [Lily Tomlin] All my life I've always wanted to be somebody. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. 189. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. 9. There’s life without Facebook and internet? David Ault, “Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” ― Anonymous, “I’m not into working out. I hope we’re friends until we die then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people. – Ann Landers Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I’m still going to keep looking. 213. Here's a collection of funny short sayings to brighten up your day. 246. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see. The more absurd and wiseass they are, the better, I say. – Helen Giangregorio 10. The people are fucked. 215. My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. Inspirational quotes about life and success between lines in Real life often have a lot of real stresses. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure you’re actually funny. 187. 67. 208. I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. 37. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.. I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like. 161. Short Funny Quotes. When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. – George Burns, 253. Funny Quotes and Sayings: 1 Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? I enjoy every minute of it. ‘Revenge’ sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it ‘Returning the favor.’ Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. What is Mozart doing right now? I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Ellen Lee DeGeneres is a versatile, lady. Anonymous. I’m going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I’m outstanding. 39. 78. ‘Alright, get in the basket.’ If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around.. 111. Run. I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Wow all quotes are really very nice and funny. When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your air-freshener.”― Kevin Hart, “Constipated People Don’t Give A crap.”― Anonymous, “He’s so optimistic he’d buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.”― Chuck Tanner, “Procrastination is the greatest labor saving invention of all time.”― Anonymous, “All generalizations are false.”― Mark Twain, “Follow your dreams, except for the one where you’re naked in church.”― Rev. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. 133. 266. 46. Dec 7, 2019 - Explore Marianne Thomson's board "FUNNY QUOTES & SAYINGS", followed by 235163 people on Pinterest. 34. 50. Some people are like clouds. Microchips. 160. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. Life always offers you a second chance. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Very short funny quotes about life by famous authors. 263. 63. – Albert Einstein. 112. – Ann Landers, 244. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. A compilation of funny sayings and short puns - keen and winged words of wisdom - This list can be an inspiration for speeches, letters, greeting cards, weddings, birthdays, and goodbye / farewell.. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. 27. 251. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. 202. 18. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. Quotes For Your Wits. 150. I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Know Quotes Love Quotes Top 100. Be all in. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. 149. 268. These pictures below have the toasts that your friends and family members will sure find witty. I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. A gummy bear. 74. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. 4. 44. Snowballs. 1. How do you count cows? – Frances McDormand A good friend will help you move a dead body.” Life is always rocky when you’re a gem. I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. 88. 259. I tried, but they wanted cash. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. 225. 27. 110. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 250. Looking for funny messages for best friends. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. Funny Quotes short. – Henny Youngman Because seven “ate” nine. You're born free, then you're taxed to death. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. Read the first word again. I tried, but they wanted cash. Why can’t you trust an atom? 273. Because he was always spotted. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. We hope you enjoy Quotabulary. Because they make up everything. 11. People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? 222. – Erma Bombeck. 185. – Lily Tomlin, 242. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. 4. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. 131. 165. 16. The library, because it has so many stories. 217. “The most expensive thing in the world is trust. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. 265. 85. 131. Never take life seriously. Too bad it never developed.”― Leopold Fechtner, “If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.”― Sam Levenson, “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”― Anonymous, “Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.”― Finley Peter Dunne, “I ain’t sleeping. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong. Cool funny quotes by the comedian Ellen DeGeneres. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying. 22. Wit helps us see the absurdity in the most serious situations, and is hence important in life everyday. 272. 230. – Frances McDormand, 42. Why was six scared of seven? No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. 27. I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. – Bill Murray You are what you eat.”― Jim Davis, “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” ― Franklin P. Jones, “A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.” ― Anonymous, “When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” ― Gracie Allen. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. When nothing is going right, go left. 223. 141. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. I’m trying to live. My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. – Robert A. Heinlein, 243. – Bill Murray. 98. Boldness be my friend. I did not trip and fall. Easy to read a list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. 33. “My dream job would be the karma delivery service.” 26. 235. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. It just plain forms. It’s a door, that’s how they work. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Honolulu, it’s got everything. For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. Snowballs. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. 122. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 64. I am too lazy to be lazy. 154. “An old friend will help you move. When they go away, it’s a brighter day. I breathe in and out. 67. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. I don’t suffer from insanity. Short Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings “The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.” —Ben Hogan “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” —Mark Twain “The most important shot in golf is the next one.” —Ben Hogan “Most people play a fair game of golf, If you watch them.” —Joey Adams “May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.” —Ben Hogan 231. – Stuart Turner, 247. The road to success is always under construction. Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. 55. can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. All you need is love. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see. 75. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? 234. ‘Revenge’ sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it ‘Returning the favor.’. I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. Short and Funny Friendship Quotes “The holy passion of … Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. It just plain forms. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. 1. The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. And yes, he was right. “If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whose funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, ‘haven’t decided yet.”. Additionally, Luvze.com participates in various other affiliate programs, and we sometimes get a commission through purchases made through our links. Sincerely, the floor. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. You were too lazy to read that number. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. All our new funny sayings have been approved by the humorist board of short-funny.com. 166. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. Albert Einstein. 155. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. 173. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. What is the tallest building in the entire world? 166. Stupid Quotes Top 100. 210. I intend to live forever. “My friend thinks he s smart. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Best friends eat your food. 183. 2. very short funny quotes about life – Image #2. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. 199. 91. How do astronomers organize a party? 229. 208. If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? 130. When life closes a door, just open it again. – Cindy from Marzahn Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much. Learn sign language, it’s very handy. I have Alzheimer’s bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. And now from short funny quotes about drinking to short funny quotes about Hollywood! – Erma Bombeck Every day is a gift, that’s why they call it the present. Awesome Short Funny Quotes About Life to Make You Laugh “I don’t broadcast every high & I don’t hide every low. To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. 26. You wanna know who I’m in love with? 170. 31. 76. 3. Yeah, so is a grenade. – Billie Burke. 23. 80. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. 186. “I’m in shape … round’s a shape, isn’t it?”. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. Required fields are marked *, Below is a list of research studies that are currently open for participation. 99. “Humpty Dumpty was pushed!”. But you can always be immature. 255. See also: success quotes, funny quotes, positive quotes. 6. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? 173. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. 24. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. 101. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. I eat cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere today. 21. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. These quotes will help put a smile on your face. I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow. – Sam Levenson. Read the first word again. When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. So brace yourself because this compilation of funny and humorous short sayings will definitely leave you asking for more! It’s called tomorrow. – John F. Kennedy. 145. 249. “The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will … 132. They will tickle your funny bone and amuse you in their own way. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Easy to read short quotations by famous authors and anonymous. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. 164. 216. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that’s confusing. They’re going to tickle your funny bone, and they’re going to amuse you in their own way. 201. The only power you have is the word ‘no’. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 229. 3 Best Funny Thanksgiving Toasts Quotes You Need To Know. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 61. 182. 102. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. 207. Good things, when short, as twice as good. You definitely don’t want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! If at first, you don’t succeed, so much for skydiving. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. CoolFunnyQuotes.com. 61. Your email address will not be published. 7. – Lily Tomlin. If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. – Cindy from Marzahn. 271. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. 104 Funny Short Sayings To Brighten Up Your Day | wise funny quotes, funny and clever quotes, comedy quotes. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. 19. 168. I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor. – Ken Dodd, 255. So far, so good. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong. – Robert Bloch. Why did the school kids eat their homework? Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? “Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.”. – George Burns Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. 157. 69. Anonymous. Funny Sayings. 158. “To the people who lose one shoe on the side of the highway: Please tell me what the rest of your life is like.”. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. Thank God I’m an atheist. 221. If only common sense were more common. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn’t seen my big screen TV. 77. 181. 262. Feb 6, 2021 - Explore Linda Erb's board "Funny Signs and Sayings", followed by 292 people on Pinterest. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Short funny sayings image #2. 43. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. 269. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. 180. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 192. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. 238. A compilation of funny sayings and short puns - keen and winged words of wisdom - This list can be an inspiration for speeches, letters, greeting cards, weddings, birthdays, and goodbye / farewell.. 38. I thought you said extra fries. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain. Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? 146. When nothing is going right, go left. 256. 210. – Helen Giangregorio. He’s dreaming too. My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting. It makes them so damned mad. It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. – Pat Sajak, 41. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 149. – Henny Youngman, 246. “― Carol Leifer, “He’s not dead, he’s electroencephalographically challenged.”― Anonymous, “Money talks… but all mine ever says is goodbye!”― Anonymous, “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” ― Abe Lemons, “A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.”― Burt Bacharach, “I’m in shape … round’s a shape, isn’t it?” ― Anonymous, “He who laughs last didn’t get it.”― Helen Giangregorio, “I’m not paranoid! Luvze® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. He won’t expect it back.” ― Oscar Wilde, “I wonder if clothes in China say, “Made around the corner.””― Anonymous, “A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.”― Marvin Kitman, “All power corrupts, but we need electricity.” ― Diana Wynne Jones, “Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.”― Philander Johnson, “People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.”― Ellen DeGeneres, “The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.”― William Clayton, “Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.”― Anonymous, “You have a cough? 135. 26. A gummy bear. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? 231. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. 145. He’s dreaming too. “I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.”― Seasick Steve. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. – Roy Lichtenstein 28. The best things in life are free. 176. Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed. 120. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. 93. 264. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. 202. 32. It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right. 73. 171. ‘Oh sheet!’. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop. – Paul Ehrlich, 241. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. 2. very short funny quotes about life – Image #2. “― Irish Proverb, “In God we trust; all others pay cash.” ― Jean Shepherd, “Always borrow money from a pessimist.
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